New Atlas Changes - modestly praise

Greetings, Dragon Lords. I come to write to you concerning a very serious subject.

I believe the toxic green swamp currently sitting in the former lakes and rivers of Old Atlas should become permanent. It is a denouncement of the foul presence of a team of rank ~1300 bullies in our fair community, steaming up the whole world with their iniquity.


The heart of darkness!

Without this important, clearly intentional change visually reminding us all of their tyranny, the bullies’ steam-powered horses would ride over all the world, oppressing honest, hard-working teams out of all our castles with their 1 really mean guard. How are we supposed to beat 1 guard? We don’t all have the time to play 134 hours per day (in dog hours), like I assume they and their dogs do. For this reason, it is vital that we keep the map ugly, as a reminder that they are a bunch of succs. :poop: :poop: :poop:

Furthermore, I am pleased to see that the new lands recently enhanced the original plan of having castles that can be accessed from (at most) two hops from NML, and now has castles that can never be accessed. Ever. And if you try to move onto them, the app simply shuts down, offended at your attempted act of bullying.

These infinity-hops are the only fair countermeasure to the existence of teams that are better than mine. They represent a state of balanced gameplay, with their owners receiving some rewards (all of 'em, and never being able to be attacked) while also undergoing risks (some teams are really scary and that makes us feel unsafe :frowning: ). People who say these castles can’t be targeted are wrong, because your keyboard is still capable of using the target emoji while looking at them. :dart: I and the heroes on my team of infinity-hop holders spend millions of hours every day adapting to the new metagame and devising tactics to keep our castles safe, despite the tyrants of diamond who are probably typing target emojis all over the god dang place. :dart: :dart: :dart:

Not pictured: OPPRESSION

Being able to hold these castles against all threats and emojis proves that their owners are adaptable and have earned their castles. Why should they be forced to play a different way just because YOU dummies can’t adapt to conquer them, and also it might be mechanically impossible? You call it a bug, I call it a strategy.

And really, would we even NEED infinity-hops if the tyrannical Dominus had not FORCED teams onto them, by bullying them there? Before we can even think about changing the infinity-hops, we need to fix mega-alliances, solve global poverty, and buy the world a Coke. Anyway, if you think these should be patched, you’re a monarchist.

Lastly, I write in support of this thing, whatever it is:


Have you ever seen anything so beautiful?

What if the entire map were just this thing? That would be dope. I’m not going to explain why, because I assume you will immediately agree and hail me as a visionary. Check my plan to fix Atlas:

  1. Add another copy of THIS THING, rotated 90 degrees.
  2. And another, rotated 180 degrees.
  3. And then another, rotated 270 degrees.

Boom! Perfect game. You’re welcome.

If any of these important pillars of Atlas are patched oppressed out of the game, it will be proof that there’s no more place for the hard-working Swamp Lords. It is just not worth playing a game unless there is a gigantic life-choking stink cloud bringing balance to it. :balance_scale:

With the support of the following teams (?):

AbuzementPark
MonstersDesert
ButWeArentBwabbers
Drongnought
PineappleDragons
CrocWearers420
AREALLYMEANBUNNYnD0MJERKS

Edit: I have been told my post received a flag, probably from one of the anti-swamp forum bullies. To this I say, a flag? Nay, let it become a banner, billowing in a wind that shall carry LIBERTY to the lands of Atlas. :wind_face: :statue_of_liberty:

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You forgot about the territories that have strobe effect edgings. I’d post a video but, you know, seizures

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Been a tough day and needed the laugh lol, thanks :rofl:

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Call-out!

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We demand justice :balance_scale: for the same. #StopBullying #ShowCourage #PGCares #PGheroes #EndofTryantRule #MegaAllianceDisband. #ShowSupport #HeroesNeedHelp. #Cavalry

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